You must have read several blogs on emotional intelligence and how equally important it is as IQ. Daniel Goleman’s book on Emotional Intelligence refers to it as the ability of a person to adjust and recognize one’s and other’s emotions. Being aware of one’s and other’s emotions not only help in showing right emotions at right time, but also improves one’s social skills and builds higher empathy. Several studies have shown benefits of highly emotionally intelligent people.
High EQ and lower stress levels are strongly positively correlated. According to studies. People with emotional intelligence are better able to comprehend and control their own emotions, which results in more constructive coping strategies when faced with stressors. Likewise, there are other studies that have found EQ being linked with increased happiness, fix common mental health problems like depression, anxiety, and stress, and builds emotional resilience.
Although there are several advantages of high EQ, there are some disadvantages too. So does it suggest that excessive of everything is bad? May be yes! Goleman questions the conventional wisdom that says IQ is the best indicator of success in life. According to his theory, emotional intelligence plays a major role in the remaining 80% of life outcomes, while IQ only explains 20% of them. He also adds that Emotional competencies are learned behaviours that, with practice and deliberate effort, can be developed and enhanced at any stage of life. So far, we have talked about the existence and acceptance, and application of emotional intelligence in the practical world, but how can it be bad?
Let’s find out…
11 Sources That Suggest EQ Can Be Bad Too
- Using Emotions For Manipulating Others – According to Adam Grant, a well-known expert on the subject of organizational psychology, “Like any skill, being able to read people can be used for good or evil” (Grant, as cited in Mindtools). He emphasizes that people can improve their ability to manipulate others by honing their emotional intelligence.
- Disguising One’s or Other’s Real Feelings – Mindtools claims that having a high EQ can help people “disguise their true feelings” and “tug at their heartstrings and motivate them to act against their own best interests” by understanding how others are feeling.
- Power to Persuade Other – According to research from the University of Cambridge that Grant cited, an audience is less likely to closely examine a speech’s content when it is emotional (Mindtools). This implies that emotionally intelligent communicators can use emotional appeal to get past their audience’s critical thinking.
- Machiavellianism – Employees with high emotional intelligence and Machiavellian tendencies exhibited the most detrimental behaviors, employing their emotional intelligence to “demean and embarrass their peers for personal gain,” according to a study conducted by Stéphane Côté at the University of Toronto (Mindtools). When paired with self-serving motivations, this shows a strong correlation between manipulative behavior and high EQ.
- Dark Empaths – The concept of “dark empaths” describes individuals who possess high cognitive empathy (understanding others’ emotions and thoughts) but also exhibit traits from the “dark triad” (narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism). Because they can readily relate to others and read their emotions, these people can be especially dangerous. They can then take advantage of this knowledge for their gain (Simply Psychology).
- Emotional Exhaustion or Distress – Even though empathy is frequently viewed as a good thing, too much of it can cause “empathic distress,” in which people internalize and absorb the negative feelings of others, which wears them out emotionally.
- Burnout In Healthcare Professionals – Research continuously demonstrates that occupations like healthcare that demand a great deal of emotional work and empathy have high rates of burnout. For instance, emotional exhaustion was identified as a critical dimension in a systematic review on burnout among medical residents, which revealed a high prevalence (35.7% overall) (Frontiers in Psychology). Burnout can result from prolonged exposure to suffering without appropriate coping mechanisms, even though empathy is essential for patient care.
- Sacrificing Self for Others – People who engage in “people-pleasing behaviour” sacrifice their own needs and feelings in order to satisfy those of others (ResearchGate, “Navigating People-Pleasing in ‘Dissect'”). This is frequently motivated more by a desire for approval from others than by true kindness.
- Jadedness – Over time, a jaded or cynical perception of human nature may result from ongoing exposure to emotional complexities, conflicts, and manipulation (especially if one is skilled at recognizing these).
- Unreciprocated EQ – Feelings of resentment and being taken advantage of can arise when a highly emotionally intelligent person consistently expends emotional energy on others without receiving the same in return.
- Perfectionism – High EQ people may have unrealistic expectations for their emotional reactions and interactions, which can cause them to be very critical of themselves when they feel they haven’t lived up to these expectations. This connects to the aspects of EQ that deal with self-awareness and self-regulation.
Conclusion
What are your thoughts on the above research points? Do you also agree that high emotional intelligence can be bad sometimes? Well, unlike IQ, EQ is learned at different points of life, and since it’s understood, it completely varies from one person to another how they portray their EQ in front of others. If it can be used for showing empathy and support, then it can be demonstrated for manipulation and persuasion, too.
Therefore, finding the right balance between expressing one’s emotions and respecting others is important to building healthy emotional intelligence. In today’s blog, we don’t mean to defame the effectiveness of having a high EQ; we aim to show the other side of it, which surely can be bad, too!
